Friday, April 30, 2004

La Haine/L'amour

29/Abril

C'est l'histoire d'un homme qui tombe d'un immeuble de 50 étages, le mec au fur et à mesure de sa chute il répète sans cesse pour se rassurer, "jusqu'ici tout va bien, jusqu'ici tout va bien...", mais l'important c'est pas la chute, c'est l'atterrissage.



"..there is no richer territory for students of human psychology than that of the morning after. But Chloe had other priorities upon stumbling out of sleep: she had gone to wash her hair in the bathroom next door and i awoke to hear the sound of water crashing on tiles. I remained in bed, encasing myself in the shape and smell of her body that lingered in the sheets. It was Saturday morning and the first rays of the December sun were piercing through the curtains. I surveyed the room in privacy, the gover as voyeur, the lover as the anthropologist of the beloved, enchanted by her every cultural manifestation. It was a privilige to be curled up in her inner sanctum, in her bed, her sheets, looking at the objects that made up her daily life, at the walls she woke to every morning, at her alarm clock, a packet of aspirins, her watch and earring on her bedside table. Love manifested itself as interest, fascination for everything Chloe owned, for the material signs of a life i had yet to discover but that seemed infinately rich full of the wonder that the everyday takes in the hands of the extaordinary. There was a bright yellow radio in one corner, a print by Matisse was leaning against a chair, her clothes from the night before were hanging in the closet by the mirror. On the chest of drawers there was a pile of paperbacks, next to it, her handbag and keys, a bottle of mineral water, and Guppy the elephant. By a form of cathexis, i fell in love with everything she owned, it all seemed so perfect,tasteful, different from what one could buy in shops (though i had seen the same radio recently on Oxford street.) The objects became fetishized, both dispaced symbol and erotic substitute .. "
AdeB



Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Paris,Trance





13/Avril

I changed my looks but i still felt the same
I rearranged my house but i still lived there
I changed my lovers
but i still wanted you
I changed but i didn't
Because we can never be anything
but a variation of ourself.
Terrell


My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
Charles M. Schulz


Ach der geworfene, ach der gewagte Ball, fullt er die Hande nicht anders mit Wiederkehr: rein um sein Heimgewicht ist er mehr.
Rilke

Ahh the ball that we hurled into infinite space, doesn't it fill our hand differently with it's return:heavier by the weight of where it has been.


..Luke and Nicole showered and lay in bed. "It's so lovely to go to bed and not have sex," Luke whispered. 'Isn't it?'Nicole was already asleep. He lay on his back unable to sleep, drifting. There will come a time, he thought, when i will look back on this night, when i will lie in another bed, when happiness will have come to seem an impossibility, and i will remember this night, remember how happy i was, and will remember how, even when i was in the midst of my happiness, I could feel a time when it would be gone. And i will realise that this knowledge was a crucial part of that happiness....The same thought went through many mixes as he lay there, drifting, alert, sort of asleep.




As a very wise man (I think it was Jim Davidson) once said," My best advice for women is this: If we say something and there are 2 possible interpretations and one of them makes you feel sad or angry, we meant the other one."



"I bet
on a race horse
that bore your name
it stumbled
at the clubhouse turn
just like I did
through your life"

Terrell

Thursday, April 08, 2004

how to row across a wooden sea..




7/Avril


And sometimes i think that we are all balloons with long strings searching for something to tie onto...

Terrell



Moed

De nacht heeft mij weer van mijn apropos gebracht langzaam loopt de ochtend vol met woorden die ik zeker weet dat iets betekenden, maar wat? gisteren iets betekenden.
Lopen is op voeten balanceren, op straat zie ik warme wezens die ook de onbegrijpelijke moed hebben gehad om op te staan in plaats van niet.
Nooit is iemand zeker van iets, te worden geliefd, te worden verlaten alles kan en alles mag alles wisselt elkaar af.
Nu weet ik weer wat ik zeggen wou: zolang het niet te ongelukkig maakt is het een leuk gevoel. Maar eigenlijk zijn wij zacht als Turkish Delight in een blik met spijkers.




"A little wave is bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of him crashing against the shore.
"My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going to happen to me!"
Then along comes another wave.
It sees the first wave looking so grim and it says to him "why do you look so sad?"
The first wave says "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"
The second wave says "No you don't understand.
You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean"

Tuesdays with Morrie