))<>(( ...back and forth

"..Well, it’s so easy to be witty in retrospect when you’re out the door you pause a moment to reflect on all the witty one liners that you should have said..."

Everything but the girl..a line from the album, Baby the stars shine bright



"You're lovely, but you're empty," he went on. "One couldn't die for you. Of course an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than you altogether, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass. Since she's the one I sheltered behind a screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except for two or three for butterflies). Since's she the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose."


Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Le petit prince



Now here I am. Writing notes to you in the dead of night.
I think we are in danger of losing our grace all the time. That just lying on the lounge downstairs now as I write, finding these thoughts inside me and hearing a bird’s feet on the roof and a metal gate open and shut in the street can be the most beautiful and redeeming things in the world: the only sounds at this early hour, and oh so necessary for me.
How lonely would I be without you upstairs sleeping. Without the world moving around me. The weight of you beside me in the bed: the possibility of living with someone when I do wake up so scared.
I wish I could tune into the radio now and find that You Am I song, whatever it’s name is, where it is, out there drifting somewhere on a wavelength in the universe, and turn it up loud and sing along and ache with it happily for a while. Let all my feelings go.
I hope this ‘blog’ makes sense like that to people. As a love letter you can join in with, like a good song, the melody of a heartbeat. So that in the frightened dawn hours when people are waking or sleeping nervously, some little part of it might enter into their unconscious to let them know they are not lost from the world altogether. So that I can feel peace and warmth too and finish with all these stories and words – part of some bigger secret story inside of me that is still unravelling – and hold the world close again in a lover’s question mark.

M. Mordue, Dastgah




I’ll fill my nights and days,
so not to think of you –
and look up friends I haven’t seen in years –
I’ll read sad books and watch sad films
to camouflage my tears –
I’ll play the clown
and drink too much,
trying to forget
the way your hand caressed a glass
or held a cigarette –
but in the lonely light of dawn,
when dreams are hard to hold,
the foolish mask has slipped away,
the truth is stark and cold –
I’ll touch the pillow where you slept
and in my heart I’ll smile –
remembering you loved me…
for a while…

N. Witcomb, The thoughts of Nanushka